Caleb allowed me to see him this time because he says that he begins to trust me. I am not sure what he means by that. It amuses me to see how others have access to his private life. They spend time with him and did everything that a junior swordsman like me wishes to do with the dashing senior who is a five-year-champion at the Musharagi Dojo.
Maybe I shouldn’t generalize. Not every junior swordsman shares my devotion. From the beginning, mine is not blind faith. It means that I have a heart and values of my own. That there are certain actions I do not condone even when the doer is Caleb.
It is very easy to brand me arrogant and rude for at times I refuse to give in to Caleb because reason tells me that he is abusing his position as a celebrity sportsman. Some of the practitioners are aware of his affair with the Master’s sister who is married. It is not entirely fair for me to intervene into the love life of another person and to judge him right or wrong.
Finally, it is not a question of morality based on what society demands and the ritualistic sphere of the sanctity of marriage. I have loved a person I know I shouldn’t have. But I allowed myself the freedom and space to enjoy this feeling of betrayal and to test the limits of loyalty. In the end, it is not about winning and taking possession of a new love. In fact I gained nothing physically except for a few simple presents that we exchanged along the way. It is actually a chance for me to grow and experience the balance of giving and taking. I was faced with the chance to examine my own obsession with kindness, which may very well be a tool that I use to create a debt. What I give in benevolence causes the recipient to feel obligated. And this happens because the gift was not required in the first place. It is just made to form an impression, a positive impression.
Caleb asked me to join him for lunch and I thought I would be excited. I listed down ten questions that I always wanted to ask him about swordsmanship and swords handling techniques. I am not sure what flushed away the excitement and anticipation and if I tried too hard to form a friendship with him.
Well, yes, I did want to be Caleb’s friend but I never intended to be his follower. Although I see that his skills are much higher than mine, I don’t find it justified for him to discriminate and criticize the beginners. His fault finding attitude is nothing short of foolish pride and boiling beneath the surface, insecurity.
Whether I like it or not, Caleb speaks a lot about rules and demands to be respected because it is one of the ways to show our admiration for him. There are many young and impressionable juniors who declare their allegiance and support for him. But Caleb needs to be constantly reassured and when he is totally satisfied that one can be trusted, he allows you into his inner circle, to serve him.
And Caleb is successful at this because he knows that the juniors want to be seen with him, they yearn the flamboyant association. Perhaps, I shouldn’t oversimplify the intentions of the juniors for I am no mind reader. It could be that the juniors just wish for plain recognition from Caleb and they think highly of his achievements. Whatever it is, the basic need to idolize another person is a crucial factor that Caleb uses to amass a group of submissive devotees. Since the admirers claim that they are fond of him, then it is up to them to prove their case. Instead of feeling blessed and thankful for their support, Caleb calls for more evidence because he refuses to reciprocate compassionately to those who admire him. The only way which he can respond to them is to make them work for him and to carry out minion tasks at his pleasure. It is only through the benefits that he reaps from his followers can he can utter a lonely “thank you” to them.
To cover-up his ill intent, Caleb pretends that he is imparting great wisdom of the sword to his admirers. Nevertheless, he is only pointing out their mistakes to reinforce the truth that they need to continue supporting him to learn more, to improve their pathetic selves. Most of the juniors endure his treatment and term it a challenge that the great Caleb posed to them.
No one needs to be controlled, conditioned and taught a set of rules and regulations to solely serve one dictator. In this case, the dictator is Caleb. If Caleb asserts that he is a mentor and leader of the team, his duty is to serve them and to seek and magnify the potential of his team members. It is not for him to demoralize and judge others as weak and useless and he needs to teach them lessons. It is also not training through servitude. This is selfish and mean.
Caleb gets very angry if at the dojo, one drinks the tea served before him. He calls it disrespecting the hero and it is bad manners. I call it bullshit. I call it one man playing God to his subjects and using etiquette to control their behaviour. Tell me if it is really impolite to drink before Caleb does or to eat before one’s parents do? Is it really respect that we are talking about or the fear of punishment and back stabbing from our siblings that stop us from picking the first piece of chicken? In short, it is fear that motivates us to be polite to others. It is a stereotype that one must be polite to be lovable. Again, one is prompted to act and to do things to make others happy so that we gain more than them. Respect is only an issue for the small minded for it is cunningly crafted to exercise one’s power and authority, to feel big and important.
But I strongly believe that other than etiquette and good manners, one’s values and ethics are based on something much potent and selfless. It is something that Caleb will not understand and have a taste of. It is an abstract concept of justice and compassion that is not caused by fear, insecurity, anger and jealousy. It is living in a world that has sufficient abundance for all and from this standpoint; one interacts with everyone in all relationships without being self-righteous.
When I met Caleb for lunch, while he was busy talking to the rest, I took the first sip of tea and helped myself to the sushi. Prudence is wisdom.
Maybe I shouldn’t generalize. Not every junior swordsman shares my devotion. From the beginning, mine is not blind faith. It means that I have a heart and values of my own. That there are certain actions I do not condone even when the doer is Caleb.
It is very easy to brand me arrogant and rude for at times I refuse to give in to Caleb because reason tells me that he is abusing his position as a celebrity sportsman. Some of the practitioners are aware of his affair with the Master’s sister who is married. It is not entirely fair for me to intervene into the love life of another person and to judge him right or wrong.
Finally, it is not a question of morality based on what society demands and the ritualistic sphere of the sanctity of marriage. I have loved a person I know I shouldn’t have. But I allowed myself the freedom and space to enjoy this feeling of betrayal and to test the limits of loyalty. In the end, it is not about winning and taking possession of a new love. In fact I gained nothing physically except for a few simple presents that we exchanged along the way. It is actually a chance for me to grow and experience the balance of giving and taking. I was faced with the chance to examine my own obsession with kindness, which may very well be a tool that I use to create a debt. What I give in benevolence causes the recipient to feel obligated. And this happens because the gift was not required in the first place. It is just made to form an impression, a positive impression.
Caleb asked me to join him for lunch and I thought I would be excited. I listed down ten questions that I always wanted to ask him about swordsmanship and swords handling techniques. I am not sure what flushed away the excitement and anticipation and if I tried too hard to form a friendship with him.
Well, yes, I did want to be Caleb’s friend but I never intended to be his follower. Although I see that his skills are much higher than mine, I don’t find it justified for him to discriminate and criticize the beginners. His fault finding attitude is nothing short of foolish pride and boiling beneath the surface, insecurity.
Whether I like it or not, Caleb speaks a lot about rules and demands to be respected because it is one of the ways to show our admiration for him. There are many young and impressionable juniors who declare their allegiance and support for him. But Caleb needs to be constantly reassured and when he is totally satisfied that one can be trusted, he allows you into his inner circle, to serve him.
And Caleb is successful at this because he knows that the juniors want to be seen with him, they yearn the flamboyant association. Perhaps, I shouldn’t oversimplify the intentions of the juniors for I am no mind reader. It could be that the juniors just wish for plain recognition from Caleb and they think highly of his achievements. Whatever it is, the basic need to idolize another person is a crucial factor that Caleb uses to amass a group of submissive devotees. Since the admirers claim that they are fond of him, then it is up to them to prove their case. Instead of feeling blessed and thankful for their support, Caleb calls for more evidence because he refuses to reciprocate compassionately to those who admire him. The only way which he can respond to them is to make them work for him and to carry out minion tasks at his pleasure. It is only through the benefits that he reaps from his followers can he can utter a lonely “thank you” to them.
To cover-up his ill intent, Caleb pretends that he is imparting great wisdom of the sword to his admirers. Nevertheless, he is only pointing out their mistakes to reinforce the truth that they need to continue supporting him to learn more, to improve their pathetic selves. Most of the juniors endure his treatment and term it a challenge that the great Caleb posed to them.
No one needs to be controlled, conditioned and taught a set of rules and regulations to solely serve one dictator. In this case, the dictator is Caleb. If Caleb asserts that he is a mentor and leader of the team, his duty is to serve them and to seek and magnify the potential of his team members. It is not for him to demoralize and judge others as weak and useless and he needs to teach them lessons. It is also not training through servitude. This is selfish and mean.
Caleb gets very angry if at the dojo, one drinks the tea served before him. He calls it disrespecting the hero and it is bad manners. I call it bullshit. I call it one man playing God to his subjects and using etiquette to control their behaviour. Tell me if it is really impolite to drink before Caleb does or to eat before one’s parents do? Is it really respect that we are talking about or the fear of punishment and back stabbing from our siblings that stop us from picking the first piece of chicken? In short, it is fear that motivates us to be polite to others. It is a stereotype that one must be polite to be lovable. Again, one is prompted to act and to do things to make others happy so that we gain more than them. Respect is only an issue for the small minded for it is cunningly crafted to exercise one’s power and authority, to feel big and important.
But I strongly believe that other than etiquette and good manners, one’s values and ethics are based on something much potent and selfless. It is something that Caleb will not understand and have a taste of. It is an abstract concept of justice and compassion that is not caused by fear, insecurity, anger and jealousy. It is living in a world that has sufficient abundance for all and from this standpoint; one interacts with everyone in all relationships without being self-righteous.
When I met Caleb for lunch, while he was busy talking to the rest, I took the first sip of tea and helped myself to the sushi. Prudence is wisdom.
