question

when was the last time you did something for another that is not out of keeping yourself happy and satisfied?

sincerity is like diluted soup and even the tongue forgets the taste of natural kindess.

if you have the ability to write, what story would you write about?

if the pen could master the mind perhaps its story is more realistic peeping into the darkness of man.

if a fact appeals to logic how true and absolute can it be?

when a child starves to death should logic dictate the soul to conduct a scientific analysis;

or does the the higher-self feel a dire need to help?

only when an act is not driven by a motivation to seek happiness but to serve,

true joy comes into being.

when was the last time you served?

unreliable temper

The Lonely Kid Speaks:

When things go wrong for one reason or another, I feel that it is me to be blamed. I shouldn't be too harsh but my anger flared like a rising tower and it is a fact. Maybe I should find out with certainty what causes the rage. Menstruation perhaps. Bad excuse.

It was time for me to watch some DVDs and I was hungry. So the step-mom was sweet and nice. She cooked a bowl of succulent and yummy noodles and delivered it right to the living room where I was engrossed in the show.

Oh! But I normally would like to add some garlic and soy sauce into the bowl of noodles. Furthermore she completely forgot to put in the cooked mushrooms and meat. I was looking at the bowl of boiling-hot noodles and asked myself why did she ever bring it out to me half done? I was feeling a tiny bit of heat in my stomach. So I paused the show for a while and ran to the kitchen with both sides of the bowl burning my fingers like inflamed iron bars. Very quickly I added the ingredients I wanted and prayed that the bowl won't slip from my hands when I double-back to the living room.

I didn't expect the step-mom to deliver the food to my face. I planned to fetch it from the kitchen with a tray after I added other stuff that would enhance the taste. At the same time I also wanted to make myself a cup of tea or something. Somehow this plan was ruined and I got pretty upset. I know that I shouldn't be but I was angry although I didn't take it out on her. I wouldn't have the heart to or the guts even.

However the Universe warns us with subtle signs about our misdeeds and ill-intentions. You can say it is purely coincidental but things that happen are not based only on the quantitative principle of cause and effect. Not everything can be reduced to following a few simple basic laws like gravity. Time in fact is not as linear as we think it is. Events don't follow one after another in an Indian file with a calculable connection.

What happened when I continued to watch the show was quite frightening. Remember I said that my fingers were nearly scalded by the bowl of noodles because I had to transport it to the kitchen and back? Well exactly as I played the DVD from the last scene, a man jumped into a tub of high-temperature water that badly peeled off the first 2 layers of his skin. Outch!

Then it hit me real hard that it was truly not necessary for me to feel upset over how the step-mom cared for me and always took good care of me. Screw the damn garlic and soy sauce!

And it did not stop there because when I had lunch with my dad at the food court the next day, all the foods I ordered didn't turn out that right. I told the lady I didn't want chili sauce but just the plain minced-bean sauce, she added chili sauce too. I ordered a bowl of up-size beef noodles and I was given a small. I eat at these stalls regularly. They know me quite well so they shouldn't make such mistakes. I order about the same thing every time.

I didn't make a single complain because I know it was meant to be this way. It was a lesson for me to learn.