Tuesday, November 28, 2006

a battle of love

For the days I wonder why don't what I want come true, I remind myself that life is great as it is. Look at how lucky we are to be alive, to have caring parents, good friends, decent meals and a comfortable home. Compared with the people living in war striken areas, we have much to be thankful for. Developing countries with high rates of poverty leave their people with no choice but to suffer in hunger and diseases. And yet, knowing the big picture, I can't help but to focus on my tiny problems.

Maybe I feel that there is nothing I can do for them. There is no hope in salvation to regenerate love and compassion in the hearts of status conscious rich nations. We all go on living our lives; I have got my issues, I don't have a job, I can't find a lover, I am not getting a reply from her, I don't care what my parents think, I am gay and so piss off, I an aiming for a scholarship, I am going to win that tournament, I hate my landlord, my colleagues are lazy and so on.

The interesting thing is that we enjoy this seperation between "us" and "them". Because it indirectly gives us power to feel bigger and better than "them" and so, I ought to help them poor souls. Sometimes for every bit of charity we do, it is proper to ponder upon our motivations. The driving point must never be out of self-aggrandizement, to improve one's influence and status. Ultimately, the end result is for us to feel good. Whatever we do in life, to be honest is to make ourselves feel good. Everything we engage in from donating to killing, it is to feel good. It is always me, me and me. We offer our seat to an old lady because it feels good to give-up our right for a better cause. How magnanimous!

So, before we declare love for another, think and re-think, if you should say it to a mirror or to the person?

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