unreliable temper

The Lonely Kid Speaks:

When things go wrong for one reason or another, I feel that it is me to be blamed. I shouldn't be too harsh but my anger flared like a rising tower and it is a fact. Maybe I should find out with certainty what causes the rage. Menstruation perhaps. Bad excuse.

It was time for me to watch some DVDs and I was hungry. So the step-mom was sweet and nice. She cooked a bowl of succulent and yummy noodles and delivered it right to the living room where I was engrossed in the show.

Oh! But I normally would like to add some garlic and soy sauce into the bowl of noodles. Furthermore she completely forgot to put in the cooked mushrooms and meat. I was looking at the bowl of boiling-hot noodles and asked myself why did she ever bring it out to me half done? I was feeling a tiny bit of heat in my stomach. So I paused the show for a while and ran to the kitchen with both sides of the bowl burning my fingers like inflamed iron bars. Very quickly I added the ingredients I wanted and prayed that the bowl won't slip from my hands when I double-back to the living room.

I didn't expect the step-mom to deliver the food to my face. I planned to fetch it from the kitchen with a tray after I added other stuff that would enhance the taste. At the same time I also wanted to make myself a cup of tea or something. Somehow this plan was ruined and I got pretty upset. I know that I shouldn't be but I was angry although I didn't take it out on her. I wouldn't have the heart to or the guts even.

However the Universe warns us with subtle signs about our misdeeds and ill-intentions. You can say it is purely coincidental but things that happen are not based only on the quantitative principle of cause and effect. Not everything can be reduced to following a few simple basic laws like gravity. Time in fact is not as linear as we think it is. Events don't follow one after another in an Indian file with a calculable connection.

What happened when I continued to watch the show was quite frightening. Remember I said that my fingers were nearly scalded by the bowl of noodles because I had to transport it to the kitchen and back? Well exactly as I played the DVD from the last scene, a man jumped into a tub of high-temperature water that badly peeled off the first 2 layers of his skin. Outch!

Then it hit me real hard that it was truly not necessary for me to feel upset over how the step-mom cared for me and always took good care of me. Screw the damn garlic and soy sauce!

And it did not stop there because when I had lunch with my dad at the food court the next day, all the foods I ordered didn't turn out that right. I told the lady I didn't want chili sauce but just the plain minced-bean sauce, she added chili sauce too. I ordered a bowl of up-size beef noodles and I was given a small. I eat at these stalls regularly. They know me quite well so they shouldn't make such mistakes. I order about the same thing every time.

I didn't make a single complain because I know it was meant to be this way. It was a lesson for me to learn.