Brazilian Jazzing with Angelita Li

My music-loving friends and I spent a wonderful night at No Black Tie yesterday. We have yet to experience a live jazz performance but then this is already history as the talented Ms Angelita Li crooned a mixture of jazz-sambas-bossa novas hit that got us all swaying and captivated. Although the majority of the songs were in Portuguese, the language barrier did not prevent us from appreciating the soul of the music that filled our hearts with evocative sentiments.

It goes without saying that the soul of music comes directly from the performers. The performers yesterday night comprised of Angelita Li on vocals, the amazing Valtinho Anastasio and Steve Thornton on the percussions, Norman Rahman on the bass and JP on the piano, who belted out the most amazing rendition of Brazilian and English tunes. Jazz music is nothing without spontaneity and teamwork and we had ample of those that brought the house down.

I am very impressed with the skills and creativity of the master percussionists that could work their fingers faster than the speed of light on the bongos; getting every beat precisely at the right moment. Mr Anastasio could basically turn anything into a music instrument and he did just that! Showing off a rubber water hose that was tied together at the end, he swing it above his head at about three feet from the microphone like a cowboy looping his whip, it produced a subtle lashing sound that added to the crunchy Brazilian sound. A bunch of keys could be turned in to a chilling chime that calms the racing mind. Even the boring abacus was used like maracas. I take my hat off to this group of true musicians!

Of course, Ms Li kept the mood going with her perfect vocals, not missing a single note. She hiked the melodic octaves with ease and sang out the passion of the Portuguese melodies while bringing out the melancholic drama of English hits like “Ain’t Noboby” by Chaka Khan. What won the show for me was her performance of Rose Royce’s Wishing on a Star. It just clicked – her voice, the sounds of piano, bass and percussions, the slightly stuffy and smoky ambience – I died. It took me a while to bring myself back, to rearrange my thoughts and feelings. And thereafter, I experienced rebirth. Maybe this is a glimpse of living from moment to moment.

We all enjoyed ourselves very much at the show. And I am sure we will surely ask for more.

Thanks to Angelita for hanging out with us after show and for agreeing to take some photos with us. You rock, girl! Keep the music coming!

kalama sutra

"Rely not on the teacher/person, but on the teaching. Rely not on the words of the teaching, but on the spirit of the words. Rely not on theory, but on experience. Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything because it is written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

the Buddha

Transformers - More Than Meets the Eye

SPOILER: If you have not watched the movie, please do not continue reading.

“Bring the rain, Epps. Let’s kill all these things,” Captain Lennox said as Optimus Prime and Megatron fought their deadly combat in Mission City with Blackout about to ambush Prime. Epps wanted to protect the Autobots, what he calls the good guys and marked the bad guys Decepticons to be the target of the impending F22s. However the direct order from his captain was to wipe out everyone, good or evil.

The next scene follows by Lennox performing a heroic act of single handedly bringing down Blackout when he slid underneath the gigantic robot at high speed and shot him in the abdomen. The victorious expression on his face somewhat irritated me. Although he did save Prime’s life as there was no way for Prime to fight both Megatron and Blackout, the fact that Lennox’s original intention was to exterminate even Prime, made me feel uncomfortable. Something about Lennox’s actions scared me, I believe it was his ignorance, war mongering and triumph driven hormones.

On the other hand, Prime shielded the humans, risked his life and that of the survival of Cybertron because he didn’t want to harm others. His influential quotation, “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings”, sums up his entire mission. He wanted to prevent Megatron and the Decepticons from destroying Earth and he holds true to his motto at all times. Prime is an embodiment of integrity and compassion.

Lennox as the commanding officer chose to end the battle by demolishing the ones that sincerely protected and guarded humankind from destruction. It is a shameful act of cowardice and cruelty.

I know that it is only one small part of the movie whereby all Lennox did was to utter a simple sentence. But this is no mistake that he did. In our lives we have come across many people that resemble Lennox. They could be our parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and even children just as Lennox is someone’s son, a woman’s husband, a child’s father and a comrade to his battalion. He could beat another person because he is not of a certain race and gender just as he guns down an enemy at war. He might readily betray his teacher if by doing so would improve and promote his ranks because at the end of the day, he thinks of no one but himself. He has his personal goals to achieve and dreams to fulfill. I am sure we all do. But we must remember that there is always something greater and bigger than our goals and dreams.

Optimus Prime and the Autobots aspire to restore Cybertron, their home planet and they need the All Spark to do that. This can be said to be their goal and dream. However they never seek the All Spark at the expense of innocent lives except for the Decepticons whose aim is to conquer and destroy. With regard to the Decepticons, the Autobots have no choice but to engage them in battle. Although restoring Cybertron is important to Prime, there is something much more crucial and imminent; not to damage Earth and its inhabitants. The right to choose is the freedom of all sentient beings. This freedom, this right reigns over their personal goal.

Ultimately, in this vast Universe we are just one pale blue dot. If Lennox could forget about personal victory, he would probably see before him evidence and truths that this Universe has many unpeeled layers of consciousness, energy and life forms. It is not an invasion but an adaptation and an evolution for mankind.

There is always something more than meets the eye.

demanding love

Love and pity and wish well to every soul in the world;
dwell in love, and then you dwell in God.

-William Law

Loyalty is the quintessence of love. When two people tell
each other, "As long as you do what I like, I'll stay with
you, but as soon as you start doing things I don't like, I'm
packing my bags" - that is not love; that's convenience.
Loving somebody means that even when they trouble you, you
don't let yourself be shaken. Even when they are harsh to
you, you don't move away. Even when they make a mistake that
hurts you, you don't go off and make the same kind of
mistake to hurt them.


All of us are so liable to human error that unless we have
some capacity to bear with the errors of others, we will not
be able to maintain a lasting relationship, which is the
tragic situation that many people find themselves in today.
We should never settle for this unhappy state of affairs.

~Thought for the Day by Eknath Easwaran~

*******************************************

Wendy says: Many forsake love and take it for granted that when we are loved in return do we give ours. Love is treated as money, something we have earned through labour or something that we gain through the selling of skills. Therefore it is hard for us to love others freely without the seek of gratification and rewards. But love is not like money and it is definitely not money. We don't have to work 24 hours a day to produce love because love is in us all the time. All we have to do is to look within and feel its warmth overflowing that we have no choice but to share with others. This is true giving without demands and it is not just talk. It is possible as this is the law of nature. But it is sad that this natural flow of love is concealed by the very material and physical comfort that we mistakenly believe will make us happy. If we see and understand this paradox and the ridiculous joke that we play on ourselves and others, then we break the chains that bind us. It only takes 1 second for this awareness to arise but one life time to realise it.

Peace and love to you.

no photography

My friend and I ate Ichiban Boshi at Pavilion. It is a Japanese sushi joint, exactly like Sushi King and Genki Sushi with a rotating kaitan belt in the middle of the restaurant. The food is ok and the interior is pretty normal. Nothing to shout about.

Sometimes when we visit and ate at a place, we would normally take pictures of the restaurant and the food served and post them on our blogs to share them with others. This is what we did and for the first time in our lives we were stopped by either the manager or owner of the place.

Curious, my friend asked the guy WHY because at no other place have we been barred from taking photos. He firstly gave a rather dumb reply, "Ok. Let me give you an example. If you go to a private house for dinner, do you take pictures in there?" The answer is NO but Ichiban Boshi is not a private house. It is a public restaurant. Realising how stupid his explanation was he went on further to make himself right, "We used a lot of time to develop the concept of this place, so I hope that you understand."

Ok, fine, whatever their reasons are so be it. They should at least like my friend suggested put up a "NO PHOTOGRAPHY" sign outside the restaurant. But then again I wonder if they know the consequences of such actions. Many people celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and organise friendly gatherings at restaurants and it is important to take photos of such events. With the advent of camera phones, it is easy to take photos and therefore, people would because it is fashionable to do so. It is fun. So Mr. Ichiban Boshi, maybe you should reconsider your no photography policy.

Next, the reason that you gave us is very unreasonable and rude. In effect you have implied that we are attempting to use the photos illegally that may damage the reputation of the restaurant. You have angered you customers. Please try to understand that Ichiban Boshi is really not offering anything special. It is a kaitan belt sushi place and there are tons in KL alone. We are not appropriating any ideas or concepts that you claimed took years to develop. We are customers who WISHED to introduce your place to family and friends on our blogs and we take pictures to show them where we had lunch.

By the way, anyone can walk into the restaurant to learn about the interior and food menu with a few glances. There is no need for cameras.

Humanity Prevails. Free Burma!

Stand with the Burmese! Stand with Freedom!

This small act, no matter how minute, is what we bloggers can do in spreading the word and possibly safe 54 million people from the cruelty and ruthlessness of an oppressive government. Do your part to stop the killing. Post this banner ad and the message below on your blog and website. Thanks. Peace!

Dear friends,

The emergency petition to stop the crackdown on peaceful protesters in Burma is exploding, with nearly 500,000 signers from every nation of the world. But the situation in Burma remains desperate, with reports of hundreds of monks being massacred and tortured. Burma's rulers have also killed and expelled international journalists, cutting off global media coverage of their cruelty.

China is still the key - the country with the most power to halt the Burmese generals' reign of terror. Avaaz is delivering the message this week with a massive ad campaign in major newspapers, beginning Thursday with a full page ad in the Financial Times worldwide, and in the South China Morning Post. The strength of the ad comes from the number of petition signers listed – can we reach our goal of 1 million signatures this week? The link to sign the petition and view the ad is below, forward this email to all your friends and family!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/stand_with_burma/u.php

China continues to provide key economic and military support to Burma's dictatorship, but it has been openly critical of the crackdown. Now we need the government to match words with actions.The ad paints a powerful moment of choice for China in its relationship with the world – will it be a responsible and respected member of the global community, or will it be associated with tyranny and oppression?

People power, on the streets of Burma, and around the world, can triumph over tyranny. Our strength is in our numbers, spread the word!

With hope and determination!!!

For the best local reporting on the situation in Burma, try these links:

http://www.irrawaddy.org

http://www.mizzima.com

my favourite candy

Life is a journey and not a destination. Every step that we make doesn’t get us any closer to our goal because our goal shifts and changes with each step that we make. Therefore don’t take yourself too seriously although we must take every situation and responsibility seriously. So even when we fail, we know that we have tried our best and we will not feel defeated in spirit which would prevent us from moving along. And even If we succeed we will enjoy the fruits of our labour without the swelling of pride which would make heavy our moving along. Because for every second changes occur in all aspects. It is not something evil or good. It happens. Each moment is fresh and we must face and embrace it with an unpolluted mind; not burdened by success and failure of the past.

PS: The tile of this post has nothing to do with the content. Don't ask.

a sea of words

The softness of his hand caressed her skin. It was soft, like pressing your fingers against moisturized silk. She lifted him in the air and said, “My son! You are so beautiful.”

Have you ever thought that we can’t describe how soft is soft, without making reference to another object. We tend to make comparisons. We have touched the softness and tenderness of a baby’s hand but we can’t explain what kind of softness is that; unless we metaphorically relate it to another object that we have touched too. Maybe this is poetry. A fair maiden is akin to being white as snow. A voluptuous lady runs wild like a red hot flame. These could be ideas that have been fed to us since we are children. The books that we read, stories that we hear, conversations that we pick up from others, observations that we made about man and nature and movies that we watch, all influence our thoughts.

I think when we see a person or an object like a tree, we actually don’t see a tree or for that matter, the person. We see memories, ideas and metaphors that we have inherited. We see a tree and a name comes to mind. “Oh! It is an oak tree.” Perhaps it could stir a bad memory of crashing one’s car into a tree. It may invoke a feeling of a long lost first love whereby underneath the shades of the tree, it was a romantic hideaway for two.

When we see a face, we immediately label it. “She looks motherly. She reminds me of a bulldog. I hate him. He resembles my dad. Oh my god! I thought he was Brad Pitt!”

The mind is constantly attaching values, meanings and labels to everything and everyone because we are trained this way. We must have an answer to all questions. I suspect it is partly instigated by our desire for certainty and security. What we don’t know and can’t understand, must be bad. If we can’t find a meaning and reason within our very own private vocabulary as to why the man across the street performs his prayer in a particular way, more so when our limited understanding of spirituality dictates that there is only one version of god, we label our estranged neighbour evil.

The problem is that we always make comparisons and that is not the intention of poetry and religion. When a poet writes “The enchanting maiden is white as snow”, he means that the essence of the woman and the snow is the same; pure and innocent. It is a feeling that calls from the heart not a point of reference to be intellectualized. It means she is the snow and the snow is her. We must go beyond the original meaning of the words. Just like when we read any suggested divine and holy texts, we must go beyond the words and seek its true fundamental nature.

When a poet writes, he does not write about a woman that reminds him of snow. Neither is he comparing a woman to the snow nor is he saying that the touch of a new born baby is like touching silk. What he wishes to express is that the woman and the snow are the same. The baby and the silk are the same. Touching both makes him happy. Because when you compare, one is always better than the other. The woman is better than the snow. If you compare Tom and Harry, one is better than the other even when the mouth does not say it; the action of judging betrays all hidden agenda.

To accept a person and an object for what they are is the most difficult task ever to reach mankind. When it is to come naturally it has mutated in to a laborious chore. Maybe we are not aware that we are all connected to the same roots; well, perhaps the same consciousness.

The suspicion that can transform a human being

There is a German folk tale about a man who woke up to find that his axe had disappeared. Furious and convinced that his neighbour had stolen it, he spent the rest of the day observing him.

He saw that he acted like a thief, that he had a thief’s furtive way of walking and that he spoke in whispers like a thief trying to conceal his crime. He was so sure that his suspicions were correct that he decided to go back into the house, change his clothes and go straight down to the police station.

As soon as he went indoors, however, he found his axe, which his wife had moved from its usual place. The man went outside again and again studied his neighbour, and he saw that he walked, spoke and behaved just like any other honest man.

the unexplained

So be it. I am so tired. Really, very tired. I don't want to care and explain further.

The Mad Dragon is losing its fire.

humility

My Godfather told me repeatedly that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. And it is true. Imagine the tourists that walked the Great Wall of China once claim to know everything about this country. One who has seen the London Bridge, taken a photo of the Big Ben and been inside a capsule of the London Eye assumes to have lived the English soil.

To learn and understand one subject deeply, takes years of dedication and hard work. It requires patience and many trial and error. It is a fault to always want to show how much we know about the things we love for when we truly know, talking about it makes it foolish. It is only one who knows very little would try to convince others that he is an expert. More so, he tries to hide from others and himself that he is actually only pretending to know. Much energy is wasted focusing on the wrong avenue. Instead it is wise to spend the energy in the actual study and practise of the subject of our interest.

When one is honestly sharing and passing knowledge and experience to others, it is like honey flowing down the throat; smooth, elegant and sweet. One is not doing a foolish act but is nourishing family and friends with wonderful tales and lessons. And in order for one to reach this level of high wisdom, one must firstly put the need to impress others aside. This only happens when one understands the purpose of our study. It is not to create fame and fortune but it is solely motivated by our undying passion and curiosity. We stop playing emotional games to want to control and manipulate others with our so-called knowledge. We genuinely give, take, share and compromise. Truly, this might not be the aim of an ambitious mind but it is the truth of a full-fledged life.

You might not leave a name in history but at least you have lived wholistically.

the scriptwriter

It is a flaw that I don't want things to finish, to come to a completion and the energy dies a frozen demise. But nothing lasts forever, change is part of nature. The stories that I write always contain a beginning, middle and end. Maybe I hope that as I create I can find the love I am looking for. It never happens the way I wish it to. I feel that as I put out complicated plots and conclude the fate of a sub-character, I killed a part of me. Maybe a part that is way over due for death.

If I keep focusing on what's been in the past and what has ended, then I won't see the glorious path above and before me.

thanks buddies

There are times when I feel scared and uncertain but nothing is more fearful than being alone in a totally new and challenging atmosphere. But when I look back, I see many pairs of strong hands supporting me the best way they can. And it gives me strength and confidence to march forward knowing that my good buddies will always stand by me. My heartfelt gratitude to each and everyone of you.

Even when things are chaotic, beneath the rough current, lays an unmoved root. Whatever the situation may be, it is always more than meets the eye. Go deeper and find love. Everything changes as nothing remains the same. Cherish the good times and learn from the bad. Remember that it is a vicious circle.

Focus out, Wendy and stay connected.

transforming destiny

I have the serenity to accept things that I cannot change

The power to change things that can

And the WISDOM to know the difference.

a child is lost

I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix three times at the cinema. The reason being I like it despite the rather unfavourable reviews. Of course there are friends who commented that the fifth instalment of HP is boring and that it contained too much talking. In comparison to the first four films, it would appear that book five starts to dwell deeper into emotions and feelings. And I humbly believe that it has the elementary rudiments of infatuated young teenagers and their raging hormones making them go blind.

Building an army, amassing supporters and training for combats have always been associated with adults or at least with boys who have attained the age of majority. Watching Harry and his friends battling the Death Eaters somehow didn't click with many of the audience. HP is no longer fun to watch. It has become deadly serious. Our wide-eye hero is no more a child. And so he cannot rely on the defense of immaturity and ignorance. The audience starts to be less merciful with their judgement.

When Harry mourns the passing of Cedric Diggory, it becomes a dark psychological journey into the mind of a marked wizard. His fears, anger and hatred boil under the surface of his lily-white skin. He faces his own demons when Voldemort invaded his thoughts and for a while was in his Dark Lord's control until -alas- love and truth prevailed.

Yeah, I know I am nuts.

Maybe I do get lost in movies like I do in life. There are times when I can't tell the difference between the reaction of a character in a movie and a person whose response is not scripted and determined by the director. And I ponder upon the reason why this person in real life is not doing what the character did in the movie? Isn't movie suppose to mirror life? Perhaps life is a condensed and blurred version of the simplicity in storytelling.

If I have a choice, I'd love to live in stories instead. I'd like to be Harry Potter.

while I was sleeping

It is very rare that I remember my dreams of the night before. I merely awake having the feeling that I was involved in some subconscious nocturnal motions. It is a pity that I have such short-lived memories. However two nights ago, I have a strong recollection of the major events that happened in my dream in the morning. The first being water and I am alert to the fact that this is not that first time I have dreamt about water. It is a common and recurring theme that I am familiar with. Water, one of the four elements, symbolises the unconscious, an emotional state of mind and also leans over to spirituality, knowledge and the emergence of an unknown territory. I am not surprised because I am a highly sensitive and emotional person, right-brain dominated and intuitive. At the same time I am also very drawn to spirituality and healing. Dreams containing water are greatly anticipated.

I recall being in a place that evokes an Egyptian temple with a lot of tunnels. But the tunnels were filled with water that was flowing with strong waves. I was bare-footed and initially the water level was quite shallow reaching only to my ankles. The water was calm, clear and of blue and green colour. There were living creatures in the water, organisms that were visible to the eyes but not something I could put a name to. There were plenty of them everywhere and I was meticulously trying to not step on them. I felt frightened and nervous. Nevertheless, I went straight ahead and did what I needed to do, which was to continue the path that led me to great adventures.

The water level increased rapidly and before I knew it I was walking on water! It was amazing and I never felt happier, enjoying total freedom and power. And after a while I noticed that I wasn’t walking but actually gliding and surfing with not a board but my bare feet. The strange thing is that I was surfing against the flow of the water in those never ending tunnels. The water rushed with immense velocity beneath me and I felt I was gliding up hill, swerving to the left and right. There was a force, an invisible force that propelled me forward even with the direction of the water gushing in opposition to me. There was no struggle, fight or panic. I was aware, humble, joyous and free. The intangible vehicle that kept me afloat, I have no idea what it was, but I have a strange premonition that it has a connection to the second facet of my dream.

The journey of water surfing came to an end and I saw before me a long pathway in the open leading to the door of a giant ancient kingdom. The stream of water suddenly terminated and I was to take my first step on solid ground that seemed like red earth. The weather was dry and hot and so in my mind, I believed that the ground would burn my shoeless feet. But it didn’t stop me from making my first step and to my surprise, the earth welcomed me.

Before I could relish another moment, I was transported into a room. There were people in the room practicing meditation in front of a Teacher that I can’t recollect. Sitting next to me was an existing Tibetan Buddhist monk, Lama Zopa. We are learning meditation together. We didn’t exchange any words but he saw me and acknowledged my presence with an assuring smile.

I know who Lama Zopa is but I have not had any thoughts about him for a long period of time and I don’t know how long. I have not read his works and books in detail. I merely know that he is a much respected high lama. So, we can’t be meditating together. My question is who was our Teacher?

When light penetrated my eyes, I knew it was time to wake-up. I saw that there was an abrasion on my right hand, more akin to slight bleeding under the skin in the form of a long scratch. I have no idea how it happened or if I was hurt while sleeping.This has never occurred before. Maybe the intensity of the dream caused my body to physically react.

The peculiar thing about this entire dream is that it left me with a feeling of wanting to forget my past, memories and experiences. I don’t feel like a new born child of the second coming. I just feel that my identity, all that have been established about me, is not me. I unexpectedly dropped many things behind. I hope to feel nearer to nature. That’s all. Certain things changed in me. I know it is only a dream but dream can be our closest bond to the unexplored.

the embedded prophecy

And Lord Gordon solemnly spoke to Knight Sherton, "I know of your loyalty to me. I know you swear your oath to no one but me. But now my son..." Knight Sherton interrupted and for the first time in his life tears streamed down the scars that marked each battle he fought for Lord Gordon. His wrinkled face ached in pain and hatred. "My Lord. I fight for no one but you. I will die for you for such death will not be in vain."

"That is why, my brave knight. You will also fight and die for my son, Kurtlin. For in him you see me as it is my blood that flows in his body. When he speaks, I speak. Your loyalty to him is loyalty to me."

"But my Lord, my love for you is for none other. I can serve no other but you. My soul is bound to your feet. May death takes me than to serve another."

Lord Gordon was extremely please by the faithfulness of his servant. The brave warlord has proven himself worthy of his love and trust. But deep down, Lord Gordon knows that age will not permit his strength to further hold the throne and defend his land; Kurtlin will soon have to replace him. It is at such time that a young and inexperience mind needs the guidance of a seasoned and courageous warlord. Knight Sherton fits the role but for his sentimentality.

"May I have an audience with you, my Lord?" spoke the voice of child.

"Sherton, I would like to meditate now."

"Yes, my Lord." After a strong and bold bow to his lordship, Knight Sherton marched out of the study chamber.

"Siddhi, my wise spiritual guide," exclaimed Lord Gordon.

Slowly, in front of Lord Gordon's golden desk, from a wisp of silver sparks took the shape of a boy barely the age of ten.

“Sentimentality hides malice.”

“You wouldn’t suggest that Sherton plots against my empire?”

Siddhi heaved out a sharp laughter and looked at Lord Gordon innocently. “No. Unless you give him a reason to.”

“It is ridiculous! Kurtlin is my son, the rightful heir to the throne. How dare he revolt against my lineage? That’s treason and the punishment is nothing less than death!”

“My Lord, your temper is rising quickly. I advise you to calm down. People are funny. They fight and kill over what they call territory. They fence what is theirs and claim ownership over it. As if their life means nothing without the physical things they own. With what they fenced up for themselves, they build a so-called empire, lay down rules to govern their things and attack all who invade their space. One thousand years from now, it is known as terrorism and religion gets the blame. Very primitive, don’t you think so? Anyway, let’s get back to Sherton. Do you know how many scars he has on his face for protecting your throne and empire?”

“No.”

“7 and 18 more on his back and 4 across his chest.”

“Well, Sherton is a brave and good warrior. The best I have seen.”

“That is not the point, my Lord. He only wants to serve you.”

“Yes, I know. My honourable knight.”

“Because he cannot tolerate another living creature to be better than him in your eyes.”

“That’s the character, Siddhi. That’s why I like about Sherton. He is competitive.”

“Sherton only wants to win your trust and praise. By virtue of your trust in another person, even if it is your son, he feels downgraded. That he is no longer the brave and good warrior because you have another choice. And this will be a source of all conflicts.”

“Very clever, Siddhi. You are truly remarkable for you age. But then again, you are my guide. You have pointed out something very important and I have just the right solution for it. I will organize a mock battle, a competition to feed on Sherton’s combative energy. And it will be a fight in honour of my son Kurtlin, my royal lineage. When Sherton’s wins in this battle, it will reinforce his need to serve me and my family.”

“This will only be destructive. Sherton will fall deeper. His jealousy of others and the dire need for approval from you will make him insane. He will fall.”

“So be it. What better way for me to command my army than to play with their minds? Now he will even die for me. Isn’t that marvelous?”

“Sherton needs your compassion and kindness.”

“Don’t speak to me about weakness. Kindness and all that rubbish are for women. And women suffer because of that. They are fragile and powerless. Now, if you would excuse me, my wise spiritual guide. I have a battle to plan. Be off!”

Siddhi snaps his finger and the silver sparks carried him into the next dimension where his teacher, The Hermit awaits him with a message.

“Men always prayed for victory, wealth, position, power, world peace but achieved through war and Earth be a better place. But no one prays for him or herself to change. For change is fearful as it highlights that one has flaws and is imperfect. And so, they deny and deny until the layers of lies they build collapse. And so, the world shall end.”

my type of band

Song title : Out In Space
Sung by: Travis
Written by : Fran Healy (the band leader of Travis)

"The Boy With No Name" is the fifth album by Scottish band Travis. I discovered them through their song "All I Wanna Do Is Rock" in 1997. It was the year they released their first album, "Good Feeling". I absolutely love their music as it incorporates a slight tinge of celtic rhythm and the rest is filled with tons of alternative-rock passion. Truly unique and Fran Healy is a talented songwriter and singer.

As great as this band is, these fellows often are ignored by mainstream listeners, rock music followers and it is not surprising that they titled their third album, "The Invisible Band"; although their music is very pleasing to the ears. Their music is highly melodic and Fran produces sensible lyrics as we can read below.

I especially like "Out In Space" from their new album mainly because the lyrics have so much of depth and wisdom. Enjoy!

Oh my friend
We have spent
So much time looking for someone to blame
'Cause we're the same
And jealous games
Take up time we could spend on other things
Oh my friend
If it ends
Let us go and then not look back again
We can’t be
You and me
Taking ourselves much too seriously

But out in space
A million miners work upon
The night’s coal face
But all I see is black
And all the stars look back
At me

Oh my friend
What a friend
I’d have thought you’d have stayed here till the end
To take a bow
Draw the crowd
We’re just words in the sand at high tide

But out in space
A million miners work upon
The night’s coal face
And all I see is black
And all the stars look back at me

Oh my friend
We should spend
Some more time looking from the other end
'Cause we would see
So clearly
We blame ourselves as much as we blame we
We blame ourselves as much as we blame we
We blame ourselves

keep the faith

It is very easy to have faith in God, religion, an ideology, our family, lovers, friends, an idea, science and art when life is not troubled by broken dreams and death. When the nectar of paradise is the only substance our tongue tastes each time we open our eyes, we believe that our faith in whatever it is works and nothing will ever go wrong. To the contrary, once we are surrounded by problems, challenges and obstacles, we either cling on to our faith to help us through or question its validity and reliability.

But what is faith? Maybe the question should be, why do need to have faith in anything? Very often, it is about having convictions in something outside of ourselves like our complete devotion to a particular religious creed, a system, a person, an opinion or some sacred texts. By having something to believe in externally, it provides us the security of not being alone. That something bigger and infinite are constantly watching over us to put us on the right passageway. It is safe and certain to have a sure way of life and to follow a proper code of conduct.

We prefer to believe (or have faith in) that we have freedom of choice, speech and thought. The American constitution guarantees this and so do many constitutions of the democratic world. What is intriguing is that our most basic right to talk, to choose what we want in life and what views we wish to follow have to be written down in a piece of parchment, signed and sealed by some fellows who swear to protect us from tyranny and nepotism. But then, who practices autocracy in the name of democracy? Who oppresses the impoverished to earn more profits only to donate them again in the name of charity?

It is amazing what faith can do to man. It is equally puzzling how the lack of faith can weaken man. Since the beginning of mankind, we have always sought for answers to the same question – our creation, the mysteries of life itself. Until today, we are still dabbling on the fringes of reality. One theory is as probable as the next. Every hypothesis debunks itself and all is in a constant flux. And so faith keeps our feet planted firmly on the ground and offers temporary satisfactions to our lonely souls.

what is not spoken

When Leo knelt down to pray, his soon to be ex-wife sat down on the floor next to him. He sensed her presence but was afraid to open his eyes for this could be the last time he sees Tina as his lawful wedded wife. He has to get used to the term "ex-wife".

Tina placed her hand tenderly on his and they prayed together. Leo was asking for the reasons his wife is leaving him. It was not for a better looking man, not for a woman either, not for wealth as he is a fairly rich and famous musician. If it was for either one of the above reasons, it would have terribly humiliated him and he wondered if his friends will stop teasing him. But it remains that he is not the most loyal of a husband. There were times when he derailed into the arms and bed of a young pop singer or a desperate corporate executive searching for erotic sex in the embrace of an artist. They affair didn't last very long or it never went beyond a one-night-stand. His friends did it and if he didn't, he was no longer fashionable. He definitely believed that their sexual life was still peaking after eight years of marriage. As a husband he listened to her but also expected her to listen to him and he provided for her every need. Maybe she is going to tell him that she cannot accept his sexual excursions with other women. She wanted him to be faithful. This must be the reason Tina is asking for a separation.

WIth her hand on his, Tina prayed for the happiness of her husband wherever he goes. She asked for him to stop seeking for logical reasons that this marriage draws to an end. She knows about his love affairs and that was not the reason she asked for a divorce. It is not a question of whether she could tolerate her husband's unfaithfulness because she understands that a person's heart is capable of loving more than one person simultaneously. But her husband did not love anyone except himself. His affairs were nothing more than games he played along with his elite all boys club; competing to prove one another's virility and cash flow. Lying underneath his childish actions, he is trying to search for security though music, marriage, sex, power and wealth. He doesn't understand even after a long and tiring search that security does not exist, not externally. Throughout the years, Tina is aware that she became his pillar of certainty and stability. It allowed him to trip and fall but it didn't do one thing for him, which is to help him grow and be a responsible adult. She continues to pray for Leo's well being and that one day he realises within himself that all that he is searching for amounts to nothing; that love is to be extended to others for it to flourish.

Tina released her hand, bent over to kiss his cheek. Without pausing for another moment, she got up and left, closing and starting a new chapter in her life.

Leo opened his eyes and tears soaked his ego inflated face.

to the trusted one

Caleb allowed me to see him this time because he says that he begins to trust me. I am not sure what he means by that. It amuses me to see how others have access to his private life. They spend time with him and did everything that a junior swordsman like me wishes to do with the dashing senior who is a five-year-champion at the Musharagi Dojo.

Maybe I shouldn’t generalize. Not every junior swordsman shares my devotion. From the beginning, mine is not blind faith. It means that I have a heart and values of my own. That there are certain actions I do not condone even when the doer is Caleb.

It is very easy to brand me arrogant and rude for at times I refuse to give in to Caleb because reason tells me that he is abusing his position as a celebrity sportsman. Some of the practitioners are aware of his affair with the Master’s sister who is married. It is not entirely fair for me to intervene into the love life of another person and to judge him right or wrong.

Finally, it is not a question of morality based on what society demands and the ritualistic sphere of the sanctity of marriage. I have loved a person I know I shouldn’t have. But I allowed myself the freedom and space to enjoy this feeling of betrayal and to test the limits of loyalty. In the end, it is not about winning and taking possession of a new love. In fact I gained nothing physically except for a few simple presents that we exchanged along the way. It is actually a chance for me to grow and experience the balance of giving and taking. I was faced with the chance to examine my own obsession with kindness, which may very well be a tool that I use to create a debt. What I give in benevolence causes the recipient to feel obligated. And this happens because the gift was not required in the first place. It is just made to form an impression, a positive impression.

Caleb asked me to join him for lunch and I thought I would be excited. I listed down ten questions that I always wanted to ask him about swordsmanship and swords handling techniques. I am not sure what flushed away the excitement and anticipation and if I tried too hard to form a friendship with him.

Well, yes, I did want to be Caleb’s friend but I never intended to be his follower. Although I see that his skills are much higher than mine, I don’t find it justified for him to discriminate and criticize the beginners. His fault finding attitude is nothing short of foolish pride and boiling beneath the surface, insecurity.

Whether I like it or not, Caleb speaks a lot about rules and demands to be respected because it is one of the ways to show our admiration for him. There are many young and impressionable juniors who declare their allegiance and support for him. But Caleb needs to be constantly reassured and when he is totally satisfied that one can be trusted, he allows you into his inner circle, to serve him.

And Caleb is successful at this because he knows that the juniors want to be seen with him, they yearn the flamboyant association. Perhaps, I shouldn’t oversimplify the intentions of the juniors for I am no mind reader. It could be that the juniors just wish for plain recognition from Caleb and they think highly of his achievements. Whatever it is, the basic need to idolize another person is a crucial factor that Caleb uses to amass a group of submissive devotees. Since the admirers claim that they are fond of him, then it is up to them to prove their case. Instead of feeling blessed and thankful for their support, Caleb calls for more evidence because he refuses to reciprocate compassionately to those who admire him. The only way which he can respond to them is to make them work for him and to carry out minion tasks at his pleasure. It is only through the benefits that he reaps from his followers can he can utter a lonely “thank you” to them.

To cover-up his ill intent, Caleb pretends that he is imparting great wisdom of the sword to his admirers. Nevertheless, he is only pointing out their mistakes to reinforce the truth that they need to continue supporting him to learn more, to improve their pathetic selves. Most of the juniors endure his treatment and term it a challenge that the great Caleb posed to them.

No one needs to be controlled, conditioned and taught a set of rules and regulations to solely serve one dictator. In this case, the dictator is Caleb. If Caleb asserts that he is a mentor and leader of the team, his duty is to serve them and to seek and magnify the potential of his team members. It is not for him to demoralize and judge others as weak and useless and he needs to teach them lessons. It is also not training through servitude. This is selfish and mean.

Caleb gets very angry if at the dojo, one drinks the tea served before him. He calls it disrespecting the hero and it is bad manners. I call it bullshit. I call it one man playing God to his subjects and using etiquette to control their behaviour. Tell me if it is really impolite to drink before Caleb does or to eat before one’s parents do? Is it really respect that we are talking about or the fear of punishment and back stabbing from our siblings that stop us from picking the first piece of chicken? In short, it is fear that motivates us to be polite to others. It is a stereotype that one must be polite to be lovable. Again, one is prompted to act and to do things to make others happy so that we gain more than them. Respect is only an issue for the small minded for it is cunningly crafted to exercise one’s power and authority, to feel big and important.

But I strongly believe that other than etiquette and good manners, one’s values and ethics are based on something much potent and selfless. It is something that Caleb will not understand and have a taste of. It is an abstract concept of justice and compassion that is not caused by fear, insecurity, anger and jealousy. It is living in a world that has sufficient abundance for all and from this standpoint; one interacts with everyone in all relationships without being self-righteous.

When I met Caleb for lunch, while he was busy talking to the rest, I took the first sip of tea and helped myself to the sushi. Prudence is wisdom.

the meltdown

My concern is to address certain issues that have been bothering me lately. I woke up one morning realising that I merely think I know. But it is only a belief for if I truly knew, what is the point of thinking? One only needs to think when one is unsure and does not know. When one fully knows, thinking about anything becomes redundant. Thinking and thoughts will not arise. All mental activities cease.

Maybe this is enlightenment, a state of complete bliss that Buddha speaks of vehemently in the Dharma. However, many dangers arise from wanting to reach enlightenment. It is not something that we can reach and become. To become something else means dropping our current habits, ideas, concepts, lifestyles, ideologies and philosophies to change into a new being. Just like taking off a pair of sports shoes and putting on a pair of formal leather shoes to attend a conference. I am no longer casually dressed but become professional in appearance. Alternatively, I can switch camps from being a Buddhist to a Christian or a socialist to a capitalist. In the end, it could still be a play of ideas and words.

As I can be easily attached to my self-interests, it is simply a matter of time that I am attached to being enlightened, to knowing. The catch is this, one that I named a holy trap in disguise, why in the world would anyone seek enlightenment? I am inquiring into this question. In the Diamond Sutta, it was said that enlightenment is only possible because of our human conditions, i.e. our many flaws. Human beings are inherently full of anger, desires and delusions that lead to endless pains and sufferings. And no one wants to suffer and everyone wants to be happy. Following neatly is the calling for one to be compassionate and caring. So, one ought to be kind and polite.

Like I said earlier, it is a holy trap. It is not the fault of any religion or humans' natural frailties, I dare say it is only because we think we know and stop there. Kindness is a tool and so is compassion. It is a description of a burning passion in the hearts of man. Descrptions are purely descriptions. They are not the burning passion itself. Descriptions and tools can be manipulated to control another person; likewise so can kindness and compassion when conditions are tied to any acts of charity. How many times have we extended a dollar or two to a beggar out of pity? But pity and sympathy somewhat comes from the same root, fear. We sympathise probably because we feel that we are luckier and better than the beggar or a man of dignity should be fed a warm meal or I can afford it.

But the question is this, why is anyone better than another just because one has more money and owns a house while the other owns pratically nothing? Isn't it a judgement that we exercise out of our feeling higher in rank and ego than one who we want to see as poorer and unfortunate?

a letter from chief seattle

The President of the United States of America purported to buy a piece of land in the 1800 from Chief Seattle, chief of the Suquamish Indians. And it was alleged that Chief Seattle wrote a letter in reply to the President. While it was said that the letter created an impact to those who read it, I wonder if it is an over statement. Although the letter seems powerful in words, it did not do so in action for man continued to butcher and destroy nature in the name of development. People acknowledge their differences but do not loosen their limitations to embrace one another. But I hope that it has at least planted a seed in the deep consciousness of man to realise that as children of this pale blue dot known as Earth, it is our responsibility to love, care and protect her and each other.

With this, I humbly reproduce the letter for your reading.

"The President in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. But how can you buy or sell the sky? the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?

Every part of the earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every meadow, every humming insect. All are holy in the memory and experience of my people.

We know the sap which courses through the trees as we know the blood that courses through our veins. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the dew in the meadow, the body heat of the pony, and man all belong to the same family.

The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water, but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred. Each glossy reflection in the clear waters of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.

The rivers are our brothers. They quench our thirst. They carry our canoes and feed our children. So you must give the rivers the kindness that you would give any brother.

If we sell you our land, remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life that it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also received his last sigh. The wind also gives our children the spirit of life. So if we sell our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.

Will you teach your children what we have taught our children? That the earth is our mother? What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth.

This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

One thing we know: our God is also your God. The earth is precious to him and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its creator.

Your destiny is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? The wild horses tamed? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills is blotted with talking wires? Where will the thicket be? Gone! Where will the eagle be? Gone! And what is to say goodbye to the swift pony and then hunt? The end of living and the beginning of survival.

When the last red man has vanished with this wilderness, and his memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will these shores and forests still be here? Will there be any of the spirit of my people left?

We love this earth as a newborn loves its mother's heartbeat. So, if we sell you our land, love it as we have loved it. Care for it, as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land for all children, and love it, as God loves us.

As we are part of the land, you too are part of the land. This earth is precious to us. It is also precious to you.

One thing we know - there is only one God. No man, be he Red man or White man, can be apart. We ARE all brothers after all."

de-composition

This is a story of Richard. To begin with, he is a regular man as what a lot of people love to say, "Hei! I am just human, an ordinary guy. Like everyone else, I am normal." As a result of hearing that, we nod our heads in agreement as if we all fall into the same category of being normal. My question is, what is deemed to be normal and what amounts to novelty? Perhaps it is safe to assume that by doing what everyone else in a community is acting upon means one is normal. And if one does something to the contrary that is not expected, well it becomes a controversy. However, people on the whole have an addiction for the unusual.

Open the newspapers and you find that news, which attract the headlines are totally abnormal. Journalism 101: only report news that are interesting. This means journalists are to write about events that are not everyday happenings. We receive updates on wars, genocide, violence against women, poverty, child abuse, robbery, unexplained phenomena, financial crisis and business growth among others. We don't really get to read about Mr. Richard's daily activities of what he does when he wakes up in the morning until he knocks out at night. In fact we hardly come across write-ups on the peace and beauty of a place unless it is a travel column. This too with the purpose of trying to promote its uniqueness to potential tourists.

If we are to properly observe the way news are reported, our thoughts work on two hypothesis. The first one being, everything that is good, in order, normal, in control, perfect and acceptable based on certain agreed standards whether locally or internationally; they need not be talked about, We are not interested. The next hypothesis is that, we want to know about things that fall out of line, exceed set limits, crazy, unpredictable, a miracle, unacceptable, cruel, oppressive, controversial and just down right immoral. Turn on the tv and you see these cravings blazing and flickering in motion.

We want to know about how people are persecuted in wars because peace is assumed, liberty and freedom are inborn rights. This is what democracy granted to mankind and we enjoy it. And once our rights are transgressed, this is worth writing about and a precious topic to highlight to the world because what is initially mine is taken away. A different cause of event has happened and the rest should know about it.

Now, let's say that Mr. Richard does something weird. It is "weird" because it is a thing the entire country he lives in would not have done. Trust me that reporters will take the first flight out to get to the location to cover this "hot" news. Because this news will sell better than ipods and PSP combine! And this is because readers have a dire need for refreshing and inviting situations, other than what they experience daily. I wouldn't deny that we have noble intentions to find out about certain social issues and the devastations that befall other nations. There are readers who are appalled by news reporting on death and affliction of pain on a living being.

I am merely making a suggestion and I am not playing judge to either the press or the readers. I am inviting you to be aware of the way we think, especially of our fixed ideas on what is right and wrong. There is no need to blame others or most importantly oneself for any misfortunes. Just something to ponder upon. Is there a need to feel blessed and thankful for the pleasure and richness that nurture one's life? I think, there is no need if it comes from the point of view that one is better than some other poor people. Maybe this is only another type of oppression. Perhaps we are only thankful that everything else existed since eons ago and the very beginning for us to be who we are. You are who you are now because everything is the way it is. Then, feel blessed.

What is the story of Richard?

the elegant way

A good friend of mine who is an avid professional photographer looked through some of the pictures I shot and provided some valuable comments. I realised at which part I could improve on and what are the steps that I can take to do so.

For example the photo below, my friend suggested that the orientation can be made better by finding a focus point. The model is pretty but I didn't maximise her beauty. Instead of revealing her entire hand right up to the bend of the elbow, which deviates from her attentiveness and the glow of her eyes, it is artistic composition to pull the attention of viewer to her well proportionate face.

With a cropped version of the same photo, one can straight away focus on her gentle smile and her penetrating stare. Over and above this, a viewer can clearly see her leaving of a signature below her art work. This portrays a kind of completeness and relationship between the object and her actions.

There is much to learn and apply in photography and I am thankful that I have a friend who puts me on the right starting track. There are certain guidelines that I must be aware of, that can be of assistance to my making the photos pleasing to viewers. Nevertheless they remain as guidelines that are flexible, which can be bent and ignored in the name of creativity. But before I embark on being ignorant of such guidelines, it is best for me to learn them well so that I truly understand the art and science of photography.

As another friend voiced out my arrogance, I shall not try to be humble but embrace my ego trip with pride. If this is the way I am, then accept it. What I resist, persists. It is really about time I begin to honestly love myself.

a smile works wonders

I went to the bank today, and one ponders upon the might of technology that gave birth to paperless banking and e-banking. I expected every transaction to be done without delay and with much less hassle. Instead of filling up layers of forms and queuing for hours, all the customers need to do is to bring their I.D. card, get it scanned and plus a few clicks on a touch screen pc; deal concluded.

To my surprise, I witnessed the bank teller requesting customers to write on pages of forms, she having to scribble on three log books and key in some information on an old computer. Before I knew it, at least eight people were seeking her service, me included.

I also noticed how delicate she was at handling the crowd and even though she didn't have the ease of technology by her side, she managed to do everything effortlessly. One could say that she is used to the old system and that she is merely working to earn a salary.

In this case, I beg to differ because I feel that she was enjoying her work tremendously and the existence of high-tech computers could not have mattered very much to her. To her calculators, printers, scanners and thumb drives were accessories. The motherboard is her heart, and in fact that is all one needs. She attended to every customer with the same dedication and responsibility and always with a smile.

Finally, it is people and not machines that create life and make everything worthwhile.

me a tortured genius *faint* give it a try.

You Are 88% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood. Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?