waking nightmare

The Lonely Kid Speaks:

I had a bad dream last night. I descended into the abyss and I survived. I woke up smiling. It felt victorious.

But nothing prepared me for what I am facing now. Imagine not staying in a sound-proof room next to your parents'. The step-mom is drunk and I personally hate it. I tried to convince her to stop drinking so much. It's bad for her health and she looks terrible when drunk. She says things that irritate my dad. Speaking words that demean her morale just to tease or test your temper. Once in a while she will blurt out phrases to antagonise my dad. It made him so angry that he hit her. I don't know if he did it again tonight because she kept screaming and swearing that he did. Maybe she got confused and remembered the first time he hits her since her senses are totally uninhibited now. I hear hard knocks. I hear her sobbing her soul out. She is too drunk. I hate her for doing this. I hate my dad for allowing her to do this - to drown her blood in alcohol. I hate to hear those wrenching sounds that kill my passion for living and staying sane. I feel more than angry.

It is reminiscent of the times when my biological mother was alive. She was ill beyond the mind can ever comprehend. When the pain attacks at night, she would cry and scream too. Exactly the same laments I hear from the step-mom at this moment. When people lose their hope for living, they toss and turn on the floor, choking on their saliva and probably hope that a sharp object would pierce through their heart.

I can't believe that my dad could hit a woman. It makes me sick. I am not respecting him the same as before.

Don't worry. The Lonely Kid survives. The Lonely Kid finds comfort from facing life and accepting all the shit that comes. The Lonely Kid has dreams to fulfill.

All will be fine tomorrow. It can be dark here but the sun is shinning somewhere else.

Good night.